Season of Change

I can't remember the last time I had a proper sit-down blog sesh. One with the sole intention of transparency and sharing about life lately, and in the process hopefully lifting a weight off my chest. It's hard to say if this hasn't happened in a while because I've retreated back into myself in some ways or I simply haven't given myself a chance to pause and reflect. I have a funny feeling that both are equally at play. Not to mention a lot of change has happened lately.

Arguably the biggest change is the ending of my relationship of nearly three years and moving back into my childhood home. Not only emotionally has it been massively significant and life altering, but of course the moving of my things out of what was our space has not been a cake walk. I'm not sure what to feel, as there is a sense of numbness and disbelief from the freshness. Moreover there is a great sadness.

A sadness over losing one of the most important people in my life. A sadness over no future memories to be made with this person. And a sadness over the idea that my life feels both stagnant and like its regressing at the same time.

In this season of life I have found myself single, seeking a new job in a completely different field, back with my parents, having very few local friends, and dreams that feel utterly out of reach. To say I'm a little anxious and depressed is an understatement. My "cup" feels empty at the moment, but I do know it'll refill again with time. In the meantime I am trying my very hardest to find the joy in each day no matter how small. 

Perhaps I'll start vlogging about that! Though I'm not sure anyone would be interested. I can't be the only one going through this sort of season of life, right? Anyway, that's enough of my rambling for now haha

Hope you're doing well, friends!



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