Hydrangeas Bring Happiness

TW: Depression & Anxiety

I've been feeling a bit under the weather lately, in a blue cloudy kind of way. Often society will acknowledge feeling under the weather in a physical capacity, but rarely is the emotional manifestation of feeling unwell validated. I suppose this is changing with time as people open up and discuss mental health more. That in itself is progress because it is an entirely essential conversation. Especially with the weirdness that has existed these last two years. Life has been flipped upside down for many, so it is imperative that mental health be a dominant discussion in wellness and health.

I have never shied away from discussing mental health on here or in person, because I feel so strongly that conversation is an important way to combat it and manage it. The idea of not feeling alone in how we feel is a very empowering thing. This is certainly true for me managing anxiety and the bouts of depression it results in. Counseling and therapy has been very helpful, but simply being open that it exists in my life has, too. So here is me being open about it.

The last few months has been a very anxious uncertain time. Between a break up from a long term relationship and moving back home, family members not doing well physically, the craziness happening in the world, and simply trying to find where I fit in has exacerbated my anxiety. For quite a while I wasn't having any panic attacks, but that has not been the case the last few months. It seems every week I have one now if not multiple, which is exhausting and has left me feeling melancholy.

Something my therapist has pushed me to do since high school is working on being present and in the now. She always says living in the past brings on depression and living for the future creates anxiety, so we must try to live for the present. Some ways we've brainstormed that helps me to jumpstart that is doing small home tasks. Something as simple as buying flowers and taking the 5-10 minutes to arrange them does pull me back into the present. 

That's what I did the other day. I bought myself some hydrangeas and arranged them in my new vase, which did bring me a bit of joy. And funnily enough, the symbolism behind hydrangeas is grace and tranquility. So they are my happiness flowers!

Small Vase | Large Vase

Hope you're doing well! xx

Sincerely,

Molly

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